My mom has pictures of me at a park when I was years about three old. Two of those pictures are etched in my mind. They became what was given to me as the outside of the box of my Heart Puzzle—a picture of what the Creator made my heart to be before the box was opened and life began moving the pieces around.

In one picture, a balloon is right next to my face. I am gently touching it and looking at it with wonder. In the other, I am running through a field with the balloon flying behind me. I am smiling, giggling, and running free.

That little girl knew real love. She was free. She was cared for and had no worries. She didn’t know how to do anything but trust. She didn’t worry about what the day would bring; she looked at life with wonder.

The image of myself at that age is emblazoned in my mind as a picture of what my Heart Puzzle was created to look like. It represents the love, wonder, trust, security, and freedom for which I still long as an adult. It is a glimpse of what the Puzzle Creator made the puzzle of my heart to be.

WHEN LIFE SHOOK THE PUZZLE BOX

Then life came along and shook up my puzzle box.

As life continued to happen, more of my puzzle was broken until it felt as though it were in a thousand pieces. I could no longer remember what the picture on the box looked like. If I couldn’t see the picture, how could I possibly know how to put the puzzle back together?

Deep down, I knew something was wrong, and I knew I needed to try.

God came alongside me and asked if He could help. At first, I wasn’t so sure. I told Him He could sit “over there” with me and watch. And because He is a gentleman, He did.

I worked and worked on my puzzle. I even managed to put a few pieces back into place, but they were only the “good” pieces. I didn’t want to look at the “bad” or “ugly” ones because surely they couldn’t be part of my puzzle.

Over time, God would move His chair a little closer, gently touch my shoulder, hold up the picture, and whisper, “What about that piece?”

I would glance over my shoulder and look at the picture, but initially, I didn’t want to listen. Like a child, I wanted to do it by myself.

Because I had asked Him to sit “over there,” I couldn’t hear clearly what He was saying. Still, I was beginning to see parts of the picture. I would try another piece based on what I thought I saw.

I didn’t want to give Him any credit, and I certainly didn’t want to look at the painful pieces—the ones filled with guilt, shame, anger, contempt, and so much fear. But I knew I needed to keep trying. I believed the puzzle would come back together if I just worked hard enough.

It was exhausting, and the picture on the box continued to come in and out of focus.

HE KEPT MOVING CLOSER

God didn’t give up.

He continued to move His chair a little closer, gently touch my shoulder, hold up the picture, and ask, “What about that piece?”

Sometimes I would put the piece into place. Other times, I would throw it at Him.

He remained patient. He would move closer again, gently tap my shoulder, hold up the picture, pick up the pieces I had thrown, and whisper, “What about this piece?”

Little by little, I started to listen.

As He came closer, I could hear His voice and see the picture more clearly. Then there were times when I would ask Him to go back and sit “over there” again. He would have to speak louder, pick up more pieces that I had thrown, and gradually move closer once more.

When He was near, He didn’t have to speak loudly. He could whisper, and I could hear Him.

He began showing me how He saw each piece.

He was always gentle, kind, patient, and loving. He allowed me to take my time and make mistakes. He allowed me to try on my own and even to throw a temper tantrum. Eventually, I would feel that familiar tap on my shoulder again.

At last, I began allowing Him to help me fit the pieces together.

With every piece, He reminded me that it was beautiful and that it had a place. After many failures from trying to assemble the puzzle alone, I finally understood that I needed His help.

As He continued to show me the picture and hand me the pieces, the whole image slowly came into focus. I began listening to His voice and allowing Him to show me my Heart Puzzle through His eyes.

Together, piece by piece, we kept working.

SEEING WHAT HE SEES

Eventually, I began to see what He sees.

Together, we put the pieces of my Heart Puzzle back into place. Beneath the hurt, guilt, shame, and regret, I discovered that my child’s heart was still there.

I could feel it again. I could dance, sing, and love others more freely because I remembered what that heart looked and felt like.

Even now, I don’t always want to look at or share my Heart Puzzle because someone might break off another piece. Yet God has asked me to share the work we have done together. Perhaps, through my story, someone else will begin to see her own beautiful puzzle and ask for His help too.

At first, sharing my prized possession—my child’s heart—felt frightening. Over time, I began sharing a few pieces. Some people may like them, and some may not. That is okay because this is the heart God gave me.

Now I recognize that He was present throughout every piece of my life. Even when I didn’t know it, He was there—loving me and gently leading me toward Him.

I want to look at life with wonder and childlike faith again because I know that I am loved, I am cared for, and I am free. Now I remember what the picture looks like, and I know He will always be there to help me.

EVERY PIECE BELONGS

This journey took time. It took patience, hard work, failure, listening, and—most importantly—allowing Him to help me. I had to let Him show me the whole Heart Puzzle, not only the pieces I wanted to see.

When life comes along and moves my pieces again, I can stop and return to the picture. I know my puzzle was created by the great Creator for my good, for His glory, and to be shared with others.

He will be there, moving a little closer, tapping my shoulder, holding up the picture, and reminding me that the beautiful image includes every piece.

Life may shake my puzzle box again. It may even scatter the puzzle into what feels like thousands of pieces—although I certainly hope it isn’t that many again!

But when life happens, as it does, I know the Creator of my puzzle will remain beside me. Together, we can put the pieces back into place again and again. He will never stop reminding me of what my beautiful Heart Puzzle truly looks like.

And He will be there for you too, in the midst of it all—gently moving closer, holding up the picture, and reminding you that every piece belongs.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

~Brigid